Monthly Archives: October 2015

Zentraveler on 30 second Zen enlightenment for dummies!



Zen, from its foundation in China of the 6th Century A.D., has always been more than a religion. It is an intriguing system of principles and practices designed to give each individual the experience of eternity in a split second, the knowledge of divinity in every living thing.

It is one thing to describe the factual history of this exotic strain of Buddhism. It’s quite another thing to successfully convey the crazy wisdom of the Zen masters, their zany sense of humor, and their uncanny ability to pass on the experience of enlightenment to their students.

The paradoxical teaching stories and style of the Zen master are  important keys to understanding Oriental art, literature, architecture, and attitudes towards life and death.

Want to hang in a cave for forty years listening to the running brook, want to spend your inheritance traveling through India and other religious meccas searching for the answer.  Want to grow a beard or have long hairy armpits.  Want to dress in yellow and go through the market begging for your daily meal.  Want to be whacked on the head  with a hickory stick join a cult for crazy sex or like every thing else in this speed driven instant gratification world… do you simply want to be enlightened in 30 seconds and that’s that!

This treatise on Zen enlightenment takes all of the guess work out of being connected to a higher self.  Which by the way has always been with you since birth.  Before you start fidgeting around and making the sounds like a wounded cow in heat…om  om om you need to empty your mind exactly the same as you would delete items on your computer.  With all of this media hype buzzing around in your head you have zero chance of being enlightened in this world.

So simply empty your mind of useless clutter and then you can get down to the business of 30 second enlightenment.

Choose a dark room with one flickering candle and concentrate on the flame until your mind draws a blank and within 30 seconds you will see a kaleidoscope of bright colors like shooting stars.  Now take 30 more seconds and concentrate on the one bright yellow lite and if your math is up to snuff that’s a total of 60 seconds which is a perfect koan in higher Zen instruction.  With your 60 second battery beaming strait up to the universe you are connected and for all practical purposes an enlightened Homo sapien.  Now get a brown and yellow outfit, write a book and start spreading the word.

You didn’t think you were going to get a FREE RIDE TO ENLIGHTENMENT did you?

So there you have it!  Anyone who has 60 seconds to spare and a concentration level equal to an ant can change their destiny and walk away totally enlightened.  Caution when immigration asked your profession and you claim enlightenment you better be able to prove it or risk the loony bin or some serious jail time.  Most grasshoppers are already enlightened…so you can fast forward ahead grasshopper.

QUOTE: “Late one night a female Zen adept was carrying water in an old wooden bucket when she happened to glance across the surface of the water and saw the reflection of the moon. As she walked the bucket began to come apart and the bottom of the pail broke through, with the water suddenly disappearing into the soil beneath her feet and the moon’s reflection disappearing along with it. In that instant the young woman realized that the moon she had been looking at was just a reflection of the real thing…just as her whole life had been. She turned to look at the moon in all it’s silent glory, her mind was ripe, and that was it…Enlightenment.” No Moon, No water


THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW: Zen teaches that all humans have the capacity to attain enlightenment because we all have an inherent Buddha-nature; indeed, we are all already enlightened beings, but our true potential has been clouded by ignorance.

THINGS YOU MAY WANT TO SAVE: Your three miracles…might come in handy on the other side.

ZENTRAVELER SAYS: You wanted enlightenment…you already had it now you need to know you are en-lighted and you can forget about all of the noise around you.  Well spent 30 seconds If I don’t say so myself.

From here to Infinity and Beyond is a relatively short ride! The next leg takes eons and eons as you fly through the Barycentric Dynamical Time Zone! …and on and on and on. Follow the Zentraveler Blog often for Travel, Health and Zen-like stories and such. Where else can you get a three in one blog for the price of free.


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