Zentraveler explores reasons to become a vegetarian!

It all started with Adam and Eve who were strict vegetarians. In fact it never crossed their minds to slaughter a cow and eat it. They didn’t need to gut a pig and throw the entrails on the ground to predict the future or make sacrificial lambs to their gods. They were just a couple of dudes enjoying the fruits of life and hanging out in paradise.

The original cavepersons mostly walked on all fours but would stand up if they found a good blackberry patch. They mostly grazed on delicious green grasses, ate a lot of nuts and foraged for what they could in the jungle biosphere. Then they discovered fire which was a real thrill back then. They mostly roasted their nuts and such and even learned to stir fry mixed veggies which they all enjoyed.

Then one day a Bengal tiger was in hot pursuit of a young spring buck and the spring buck trying to save his skin turned around to watch the pursuit, whereby he lost concentration and ran into the corner of the cave knocking himself out and skidded smack in the middle of the communal fire with his tongue hanging out. It was obvious he was dead on arrival. One of the women cavepersons requested that a man caveperson remove the corpse from the fire— it was stinking the place up. Puffing on their natural herbs from nature the cavemen folks refused to move a muscle. Low and behold when they came out of their spiritual stupor one of the cavepersons broke off a spring buck femur and started knawwing on it— fur and all.

One of more eruditic woman cavepersons pointed out that we are not like wild animals and our teeth are not designed to eat meat. Bubba caveperson declared: “what the hell we only live once!” And there you have the indisputable truth of cavepersons first meat eating experience. Since those days culinary experiences have gone crazy. Icelanders eat 13.6 pounds of blubber per annum and are fighting for more international laws to get more blubber. Costa Rica is almost denuded of trees so they can raise more cattle for McDonald’s hamburger stands. You get the idea maybe it’s time to use your brain and go back to the basics.

If you don’t eat meat, fish, or chicken you won’t get Mad Cow Disease, toxic mercury levels, or the Bird Flu and if that isn’t enough to consider— you can pass on liposuction,
most forms of diabetes, coronary heart disease and stupid thinking.

Through the ages some of the folks who were vegetarians included: Adam and Eve, Buddha, Mohammed and God. I am not sure about Jesus at least he didn’t eat hoven animals and never pig. Einstein, Freud, Benjamin Franklin, Mahatma Gandhi and Sher.

Meat eaters included: Barbarians, Ivan the Terrible, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler, George Bush, Dick Chaney, and Condoleezza Rice.

To sum it up if you don’t want to catch Mad Cow Disease, toxic mercury levels, or Bird Flu and you want to help save the planet by lessoning the effect on global warming then vegg out. What’s not to like? Broccoli! Don’t you hate it when they over cook it and it tastes like—-!

“Live by the sword die by the sword—why use the sword at all?”

Zentraveler says store them nuts, get a root cellar going and vegg until the cows come home!


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Filed under Blogging, health, humor, travel, Uncategorized, writing

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